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Friday November 9 2012
Mock the Quotes: Zanetti’s ice age

The key to Javier Zanetti’s eternal youth, Juventus-Inter bickering and Ciro Ferrara gets manly as Susy Campanale sums up the week’s silliest statements.

“To recover quickly from one match to the next you have to immerse yourself in ice. It really helps.”

Javier Zanetti has been gradually cryogenically freezing himself

“There were sarcastic comments about how I was ‘tactically carefree.’”

Andrea Stramaccioni has the weight of the world on his shoulders and don’t you forget it

“The mistake on the offside goal was serious, but the second was intentional.”

Inter President Massimo Moratti’s comment stirring up controversy was also intentional

“In Italy referee are fitter and run more than their counterparts in England, but commit too many blunders.”

Paolo Di Canio manages to insult officials in both countries

“Juve keep talking about what happened on the pitch, on the pitch, on the pitch – well, Inter beat them on the pitch.”

Strama adds: ‘Put that motto on your shirts’

“Beppe Marotta should steer clear of Catania because the wound is open and bleeding.” 

As will be Marotta if he goes near President Antonino Pulvirenti

“Stramaccioni has an unlikable face.”

Maurizio Zamparini wasn’t fond of Mr Bean either

“I have been heavily penalised by referees in my career... I am not just referring to Thierry Henry’s handball in the France-Ireland play-off.”

Giovanni Trapattoni still has a voodoo doll of Byron Moreno

“I do not feel that I am in the balance.”

After six consecutive defeats, Ciro Ferrara is more hanging on by his fingernails

“Real men emerge from these situations.”

Wearing Daniel Craig’s James Bond trunks, Ferrara?

“Will I dive in a fountain if we win? No, I only go in the sea in summer.”

Zdenek Zeman doesn’t want water coming down on him in case it puts out his cigarette

“It is true, I love Mario Balotelli madly, even if it can also be said that not every love in life can have a happy ending.”

Adriano Galliani is the latest kiss and tell story around SuperMario

“The only way I was going to concede tonight was by fainting.”

Gigi Buffon needed smelling salts during a 4-0 demolition of Nordsjaelland

“We need points like man needs bread.”

Does Daniele Gastaldello mean lightly toasted with jam and butter?

“We’re bottom of the table? We’re in good company. It seems that clubs who can spend €40m like Luciano Spalletti’s Zenit or Roberto Mancini’s Manchester City aren’t exactly doing better.”

Francesco Guidolin ignores that Udinese were built for the Champions League and are about to get eliminated from two competitions at the first hurdle

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