Friday March 29 2013
Mock the Quotes: Barking mad Buffon

Gigi Buffon says it’s a dog’s life being a senior player, Mario Balotelli has regrets and Arturo Vidal lets out his inner Inigo Montoya as Susy Campanale sums up the week’s daftest statements.

“I say that for a sportsman after the age of 30 you become like a dog – each year is worth seven!”

Gigi Buffon reveals the secret to his longevity is snacking on Bonio

“Francesco Totti, you seem to go back in time instead of ageing.”

Buffon says the Roma captain has a Benjamin Button complex

“Totti manages to think with his feet.”

Paulo Roberto Falcao explains a lot about the man

“In my life I would only avoid doing one thing again: I wouldn’t have thrown the Inter jersey to the ground.”

Mario Balotelli would throw darts at the Inter fans instead

“I do feel the desire for revenge going back to the Allianz Arena. I want to do everything possible to win, although I am aware that I need to stay calm and not let myself get caught up in the desire for sporting revenge.”

Hello. My name is Arturo Vidal. You beat my former team. Prepare to die.

“In Spain the Presidents are calm and detached, so it’s a new experience for me.”

Borja Valero is lucky he arrived at Fiorentina rather than Palermo

“Mario Balotelli is modest.”

The words we never expected Adriano Galliani to say

“Talking to Galliani over dinner, we remembered when he didn’t want to spend €4m for my Giorgio Chiellini, who was with us at the time. We had a little laugh…”

Livorno President Aldo Spinelli then smiled as Galliani stabbed himself in the leg with a fork

“I did not run away from Juventus. I simply asked to be sold abroad.”

Fabio Cannavaro sauntered away from the demoted club in 2006, occasionally breaking into a mild jog

“If Stevan Jovetic has to leave, then make it for a real top club. Chelsea, Manchester City and Manchester United fit that bill, but Arsenal are not better than Fiorentina.”

Harsh from Luca Toni, but fair...

“The way I spent my life in football terms it was a natural transition from player to player-manager.”

Gennaro Gattuso has a lifetime’s practice of shouting at players and referees

“If I’m so terrible, why am I being linked with these top clubs?”

Because, Pablo Daniel Osvaldo, the papers have to fill space

“Zdenek Zeman didn’t say a single word to me in six months. Aurelio Andreazzoli, from the first day, asked me what I liked and what I didn’t.”

Leandro Castan should’ve tried chatting to the Coach on a smoke break out back

“It is strange for someone like me to score with a header.”

Lorenzo Insigne unveiled his new ‘pogo-stick’ boots

“Giuseppe Sannino is very motivated and I got it wrong when firing him so soon. Now he has settled in much better.”

Maurizio Zamparini just thinks he looks more settled compared to the chaos around him

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