“Like a would-be Rambo hidden in the Poggio bushes, Luca De Prà, Coach of the Primavera youth team goalkeepers from such noble descendants, could not fight the counter-measures of the Blucerchiati’s intelligence services.”
The Genoa spy might’ve been dressed like Stallone, but he certainly wasn’t Sly
“I actually felt pity for him, as the poor thing said he was ‘just working’ when we caught him.”
Delio Rossi at least thought De Prà could’ve come up with an excuse, like being Italy’s first Bear Grylls impersonator
“To the team: We saw a group of cadavers wandering round the pitch. Not only did you not look like players, but not even men.”
Sampdoria fans tell their squad to save the Night of the Living Dead routine for Halloween
“Kaka was crying because of his injury when I spoke with him on the phone yesterday. It's nothing to ashamed of."
No, Adriano Galliani, but getting ruled out for a month after playing all of 70 minutes probably is
“Mario Balotelli? He’s special, in every sense!”
Gerard Pique has that right....
“Am I not cheering on Mazzarri? Why, do you think he’d cheer me on?”
He’d certainly shout something at you, Aurelio De Laurentiis...
“Playing at the San Paolo will be a mystical experience for me, because it was the stadium that was home to Diego Armando Maradona.”
Jurgen Klopp certainly seemed to be possessed when he screamed in the face of the Fourth Official
“Experience teaches me if you don’t put the ball in the net then you’re not going to win.”
Well it’s lucky Antonio Conte has these decades of career behind him to tell us that, otherwise we’d never have known
“I don't want us to be gallant losers.”
Said Neil Lennon before Celtic lost in gallant fashion
“We are carrying the cross and we want to sing too.”
Vladimir Petkovic presents the new Lazio Sing Gospel Classics album
“You know how football is. One day you are at home, the next you get a phone call from a club or a national side and you are back in a tracksuit on the training field.”
And vice versa, as Roberto Mancini knows all too well
“There has been a strange scepticism around me in my 13-14 seasons in Serie A.”
Alberto Gilardino thought calling in Mulder and Scully was a tad unnecessary
“My muscle troubles were not down to me. It is the fault of the doctors who were forcing me to return to the pitch too soon.”
Alexandre Pato’s thigh muscles with the consistency of marshmallows clearly had nothing to do with it
“I think it’s likely that Juventus will aspire to win the Champions League. For two years now they have played some great football – football that suits Europe.”
Johan Cruyff said something nice about Italian football. Is this a sign of the Apocalypse?
“I didn’t accept any of the offers I had in the summer as I want to stay here. At Milan I have the chance to win something.”
Even 0.01 per cent is still technically a chance, Cristian Zaccardo
“I think he is so intelligent that he knows how to rest during a game.”
Vincenzo Montella believes Borja Valero can literally complete those passes in his sleep