Rudi Garcia’s Yaya Touré prophecy, Max Allegri warning Clarence Seedorf and the Turin Derby Flame War as Susy Campanale picks the quotes of the season.
“The players need to feel comfortable, you must never forget a birthday, sometimes it’s the little things that count.”
Manchester City really should’ve listened to Rudi Garcia
“There are many youngsters waiting to take my place, but not every medical student goes on to become a surgeon.”
Max Allegri had warned Clarence Seedorf: there will be blood
“If there is an illness within Milan, then I bring the anti-virus.”
And Seedorf compared Allegri to the plague
“I am not responsible for the situation that was created. I am here to improve the situation.”
Seedorf walked into the Milan locker room, sighed and asked ‘What cowboy did this work, then? Allegri? Pah! Needs to be totally redone. This team’s a death trap’.
“I had stopped smoking for eight months, but in pre-season training with Inter I started again. Moratti smokes a great deal and in one of our first meetings he gave me a helping hand to get back into it.”
Working at Inter left Walter Mazzarri like the chief in Airplane. ‘Looks like I picked the wrong club to stop smoking’.
“I will do anything to knock Juliet down from the balcony…”
Sinisa Mihajlovic quoted Dante one week, then rewrote Shakespeare. ‘Romeo, oh Romeo, Wherefore ARGH!’ *thud*
“He's lying. Marco Materazzi's lying. He's lying. Just lying. Everything he said is a lie. Everything that he talked about me, the things that he said about me, when he was talking with Jose Mourinho, is a lie because nobody knew that I was going to Inter - even me. He's a liar. About the pictures, he's lying, so he's a liar.”
Rafa Benitez urges you to inspect his pants, for they will be on fire
“If I am a liar then Benitez is thin.”
Materazzi reveals his inner Mean Girl
“I am curious to see what Antonio Conte was like as a player. I’ll have to look up clips on YouTube.”
Fernando Llorente might get a bit of a surprise when he sees the hair...
“Southampton Football Club has today suspended striker Dani Osvaldo for two weeks, following an incident at the club's Staplewood training ground. The club has taken swift and proper action for what it considers a breach of the conduct expected of its players.”
To be fair, head-butting a teammate is entirely expected for Dani Osvaldo...
“During times of difficulty, Mario Balotelli struggles to accept any kind of criticism.”
Zvonimir Boban could’ve just said ‘at all times’
“There's one difference between Mario and I – he probably likes being in the paper, whereas I don't. But I've done worse things in my life. I left training, I drove my car on to the pitch – you name it, I did it.”
Antonio Cassano reveals why Balotelli has that camouflage car – so he can drive it onto the field without being caught
“If I have another six or seven years of my career left, then I’d give three or four years to win the Champions League.”
Gigi Buffon considers a UEFAustian pact
“Jose Mourinho talks too much, whereas I like to let facts do the talking. At Liverpool I knocked his Chelsea out of the Champions League when we had half his money.”
Benitez is the Silent But Deadly One