Let Susy Campanale sum up the silliest quotes of the week, including Adriano ‘Kojak’ Galliani, Zdenek ‘curl up and cry’ Zeman and Aurelio ‘Cinderella’ De Laurentiis.
“Adriano Galliani? No, Kojak hasn’t phoned me.”
How dare you, Montpellier President Louis Nicollin! Everyone knows he must be referred to as ‘Uncle Fester with a tan!’
“It is nice to feel protected by President Massimo Moratti and I realise this is an advantage not many have had in the past.”
Andrea Stramaccioni tries not to look behind him at the trail of Nerazzurri destruction
“PSG director Leonardo phoned me to tell me that negotiations had re-opened, that he wanted me and I was a bit confused.”
You weren’t the only one, Thiago Silva
“It can happen to react badly after being headbutted. If I were in his place, I’d have curled up on the floor and cried...”
Zdenek Zeman does that if you take his cigarettes away too
“Roma is a marvellous city, but a difficult one when it comes to playing football, as they massacre you the moment anything goes wrong.”
Francesco Totti is just relieved they no longer get thrown to actual lions
“The final round looks like it was made for Juventus and Milan. We know that there are children and stepchildren in the Lega.”
Napoli President Aurelio De Laurentiis casts himself as Cinderella
“Pietro Lo Monaco took a bit too literally the matter regarding his powers.”
Genoa President Enrico Preziosi thought he had hired a metaphorical general manager
“Insigne is a strong player and he has personality. He reminds me of Messi in the way he plays and dribbles.”
And, adds Goran Pandev, in his inability to reach high shelves
“When we had training at 9.30am, many arrived just 10 minutes beforehand and nobody would say anything. I’d arrive 45 minutes early in order to do some exercises, get a massage or even just to relax with a cup of coffee. Or, when we had lunch at 13.00, some turned up 15 minutes late. There was no respect for the rules.”
The only time Gennaro Gattuso is late is when going into the tackle
“Personally I am in good shape and ready to run. Running is my job.”
It does help if Yuto Nagatomo has the ball too