Antonio Cassano gets another chance, Carlos Tevez is a model professional and Juve present their new buy as Susy Campanale sums up the week’s daftest comments.
“Everyone must be aware that when you have Antonio, it is for better or worse. Throughout my career I have achieved 30-40 per cent of what I was capable of.”
Cassano’s grasp of maths is so poor that he doesn’t understand why clubs keep dumping him
“Antonio did a few silly things, but has matured now and at the age of 31 won’t behave the same way he did when he was 20.”
Where have we heard that before, Parma President Tommaso Ghirardi?
“Antonio Conte will have no problems because Carlos Tevez is a model professional.”
How did Roberto Mancini keep a straight face?
“Against Spain the real Man of the Match was Cesare Prandelli. He amazed everyone, playing on a par with the strongest team in the world.”
What a shame, added Uruguay Coach Oscar Washington Tabarez, that he didn’t take a penalty too
“Leo Bonucci said he was ready to take a penalty, but we put him seventh on the list…”
Prandelli was encouraging, but not daft
“I do like the nickname Re Leone – Lion King – and I’m happy the fans in Italy call me that.”
Fernando Llorente will also sing ‘Hakuna Matata’ ahead of every game
“Who knows, maybe by the end of August Fiorentina will be offering Stevan Jovetic to us for a free loan...”
Beppe Marotta would present him along with his other signing, Bert the Flying Pig
“At the start of my career in England I used to be a hot-head. If the manager substituted me, I’d swear and insult him. I’m not like that anymore, as I’ve learned how to behave.”
Now Tevez simply refuses to be a substitute, which is much simpler
“Napoli has quality players and hunger to win, so reminds me of Liverpool.”
Rafa Benitez has fans running for the good luck amulets
“We will sweat and swear in order to build a new Catania.”
Rolando Maran takes the Andy Murray approach to management
“Jovetic to Juventus? Money has no scent, so in financial terms we do not rule any club out.”
Fiorentina general manager Sandro Mencucci feels their cash is the only thing that doesn’t stink about the Old Lady
“Next year will certainly be better, especially as it’s difficult to be worse!”
Simone Perrotta retires from Roma on a low
“The current owners are not giving the right value to the very word Roma or to this city. You can’t visit Pope Francis with a Boston Celtics shirt on.”
Singer-songwriter Antonello Venditti says that would be an ecumenical matter...
“Once at Juve I went to a party at Pippo Inzaghi’s house and there were lots of girls from TV shows there. We danced and drank beer, but everyone except me ended up having sex that night. The day after I saw them on television and told my wife: ‘Look, last night I was with all of them and didn’t do anything!’”
Former Cagliari and Juventus midfielder Fabian O’Neill is an old romantic at heart
“Silvio Berlusconi will be at Milanello on Monday. I think that is an important signal. He will be next to Mr. Allegri – showing their cohesion and unity in front of everyone.”
And, adds Adriano Galliani, it will in no way be a cynical and transparent photo-op with smiles through gritted teeth