“I know I’m in the best team in Italy and one of the best in Europe.”
Zlatan Ibrahimovic wastes no time rubbing his former Inter teammates up the wrong way
“How would I define the trio of Ibrahimovic-Pato-Ronaldinho? Very bubbly, pure champagne football.”
Adriano Galliani pops his cork for the new Milan
“I can say for certain that this will be a season of Juventus standard.”
Gigi Del Neri set the bar impressively low with an opening defeat to Bari
“When I heard people insult Marcello Lippi, I didn't want to believe it. It's the stuff of a banana republic.”
Lippi’s 2010 Italy side would’ve also lost to the banana republic, Gigi Buffon
“When I walked into a room, Guardiola would walk out.”
Perhaps Pep was merely doing the hokey cokey with Zlatan?
“I saw Thierry Henry in the stands last year. It didn't look fun. I don't have time to be watching the weather from the stands.”
The Swedish striker has no inclination towards meteorology
“Ibra is tall, if he gives me a slap I won't get up till Tuesday.”
Agent Mino Raiola learned the hard way not to ask for a raise
“The kid is not born yet but let's say we are at the eight month stage.”
Thankfully the only C-Section Raiola had to perform was a contract clause
“It doesn’t entirely surprise me, as knowing him you could expect something like this.”
Javier Zanetti can’t have his opinion of Ibra lowered much more
“But until Ibrahimovic arrived, they hadn't won anything. I expected something of this nature from Zanetti. I would have spoken well of Ibrahimovic in his place.”
Zlatan not only takes all the credit, he does so in the third person
“Now we can say that finally the competition with us is real.”
Says President Massimo Moratti, forgetting Inter won the Scudetto in the last 45 minutes of the season
“Robinho is a magician with the ball at his feet. He’s extraordinary.”
Ibra notes he certainly did a disappearing act at Manchester City
“They don’t sign me because I’m ugly.”
The only other explanation for Giuseppe Rossi’s inability to get a Serie A club is that he smells
“Roma didn't make me feel just like a number.”
Marco Borriello is a free man!
“Palermo has shown themselves to be a presumptuous team, trained by a presumptuous Coach.”
And run by the saintly President who never sticks his oar in, Maurizio Zamparini
“If I manage to give my character to the team, we will go far.”
Sinisa Mihajlovic’s personality could also get Fiorentina suspended
“Inzaghi has that great quality of his child-like enthusiasm.”
Milan boss Max Allegri admires Pippo’s Justin Bieber lunch box
“How many line-ups in these years have ended with the phrase: ‘Del Piero and Trezeguet. Trezeguet and Del Piero.’”
In the last few seasons Alex mainly read that pairing on the list of substitutes
“I counted for nothing. My ideas were destroyed, denigrated and derided.”
At least Franco Colomba can be a trivia question as the Bologna Coach sacked 24 hours before the season began
“I work and I shut up.”
Leandro Rinaudo is the strong, silent type
“Salvatore Bocchetti was sad to go, but his wounds will be healed by his wages given that he will earn four times as much as we were paying him.”
Genoa patron Enrico Preziosi shoves the defender on to a plane bound for Russia, grinning and waving a white hankie
