Via Dell'Arcivescovado 1
Dear Mr Cairo,
I am writing this letter to officially express my disappointment in not being considered for the role of Torino FC head Coach following the departure of Siniša Mihajlović. Given my 100 per cent record in job interviews, I feel that given the opportunity of an interview, it would have proved impossible to not give me the job, especially in light of my further achievements which I will now inform you of.
In my earlier correspondence in October, I discussed the numerous accolades that I had won with Torino on the computer game Football Manager 2014. I now realise this was an error in judgement. With this game being four years old, you may have, perhaps correctly, worried whether I would be able to achieve success with the current Torino squad – without the likes of Kamil Glik, Giuseppe Vives and Ciro Immobile to rely upon.
However, I am pleased to inform you, that in the most recent incarnation of the game, Football Manager 2018, I was able finish above rivals Juventus as I achieved an impressive 4th place finish in my first season with the Granata and therefore qualify for the Champions League.
Unfortunately, after the decision of virtual Urbano Cairo - don’t worry I am not blaming you for this - to sell Andrea Belotti to Chelsea in the summer - without consulting me - we have not been able to replicate this success and are currently struggling in mid-table in my second season. In hindsight, the acquisition of the enigmatic Mario Balotelli to replace Belotti may not have been my smartest manoeuvre. However, I have learned from this, and am optimistic that I can still improve our fortunes and go on to further success.
The appointment of Walter Mazzarri as Torino Coach proved to be a somewhat ironic twist, as I had planned to hire Mazzarri’s former interpreter Lorenzo Libutti to assist me in my role as Coach, as my grasp of the Italian language is not yet at the desired level. I had been impressed my Libutti’s work in assisting Mazzarri whilst in England at Watford, especially as it often provided many inadvertently hilarious moments during usually mundane post-match interviews on Match of the Day.
Mr Mazzarri may have won the Coppa Italia with Napoli in "real life", but just ask Inter or Watford fans how they felt having him in charge of their clubs. I, by contrast, have great approval ratings from the Torino fans - and I don't use 3-5-2 dogmatically.
Despite my disappointment, I hope that given the change in management you will open the chequebook and improve the squad, to give the new Coach the best possible chance in qualifying for Europe. Torino fans have still not forgotten the time when, on the final day of the transfer window, you replaced Alessio Cerci with a thirty-four year old Amauri – so I am pretty sure you still owe us.
To Mr Mazzarri, I wish you the very best of luck in your new role. Torino are one of the greatest clubs in Italian football with a history that should never be forgotten.
In addition to this, I believe the Granata supporters are truly unique – a fact that I was once again reminded of following the derby with Juventus in September. Despite a 4-0 defeat by our most fierce rivals, the Torino players were given a standing ovation after the match; with the supporters still appreciative of their efforts. I am not sure of many other supporters who would react in this manner in similar circumstances.
Rob Gillman (aka @TorinoBlogger) FVCG