Friday April 13 2012
Mock the Quotes: Oscar-worthy Conte

Another week of mad quotes in the world of Italian football is wrapped up by Susy Campanale.

“Antonio Conte’s team talk really struck me. He looked like Al Pacino.”

Gennaro Gattuso introduces us to his LITTLE FRIEND!

“Francesco is the greatest exponent of the Roman world.”

Vincenzo Montella: Veni, Vidi, Totti

“I realised that many, let’s say the vast majority, couldn’t wait for Milan to lose. There, it happened. Now we will move forward.”

Massimiliano Allegri says he’s not paranoid if everyone’s out to get him

“I was trying to kiss Claudio Marchisio’s nose, but he moved. I am very happily married and like girls. Besides, he’s not my type.”

Alessandro Del Piero explains why he locked lips with his teammate when celebrating a goal. We totally believe him.

“There has been too much talk about referees lately and I think everyone should accept decisions in a calm manner.”

Is Allegri trying to convince us or himself?

“I told Mario Balotelli that if he played with me 10 years ago I would have maybe punched him in the head on a daily basis. I don’t speak with him every day, otherwise I would need a psychologist.”

Roberto Mancini takes both approaches to helping SuperMario: that of the psychologist and the pugilist

“We’ve nothing more to say and just need to get out there on to the pitch. In a certain way, everything we say now could be used against us.”

Delio Rossi pleads the Fifth

“Only they can take away the joy of celebrating a goal! I swear from now on when I score I’ll get angry or just burst into tears.”

Mauricio Pinilla was sent off for over-celebrating, but next time might get carded for excessive use of sarcasm

“Claudio Ranieri is the principle reason I failed at Roma. He tried to destroy me.”

So the Coach made Julio Baptista waste all those chances?

“The difference is never made by individuals at Chievo, but rather by how we work as a collective.”

Domenico Di Carlo is Serie A’s first Borg Coach

“My players did very well, because a blow like that is enough to kill an elephant.”

Rossi is glad he trained Fiorentina to withstand regular tranquiliser darts, although it cost him a fortune in peanuts

“How long did it take Johan Cruyff to win?”

Actually he got the Liga title in his first year at Barcelona, but Luis Enrique’s point still sort of stands

“How am I? I just know that I’m on 10-15 tablets a day, my wife has to remind me to take them because I forget.”

Gattuso is practicing for old age

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