Friday September 14 2012
Mock the Quotes: Frank Zampa

Maurizio Zamparini is blunt, Napoli are chaste and Pablo Daniel Osvaldo takes the Jesus look too far as Susy Campanale sums up the week’s daftest Serie A statements.

“Why did we sell Matias Silvestre? It wasn’t for money, but because I just didn’t like him.”

Palermo President Maurizio Zamparini: this time it’s personal

“Avoiding sexual activity for two days before a game is fundamental to prevent muscular strains, contractions or inflammations.”

Napoli chief medic Alfonso De Nicola may have inadvertently found the key to Milan’s injury crisis...

“If we suspended relegation for three or four years, then playing without the fear of dropping into Serie B would give the chance to adjust the contractual rapport with athletes.”

The fact Sampdoria have just returned to the top flight is not behind director Rino Sagramola’s theory

“I want to dedicate these goals to my daughter Victoria, who every time she goes to church says a prayer for me and lights a candle, so they are for her.”

Maybe Pablo Daniel Osvaldo’s daughter just thinks he’s in all those paintings of the long-haired guy with the beard?

“Now Genoa say they paid €700,000 but we don’t know into what account!”

Julian Velazquez insists his agent is not a Nigerian Prince

“FIGC President Giancarlo Abete is not my enemy. He is the enemy of football.”

Zdenek Zeman likes to spread the hate

“There have been some improvements in football, but I think it’s more down to the fear of being discovered than any actual belief in doing the right thing.”

That’ll be what they call ‘an effective deterrent’, Zeman

“I will take charge of Inter one day. I base that assumption on my personality, my strength and my ability to get to where I want to.”

Don’t forget your modesty too, Walter Zenga

“Behaviour amongst certain members of the squad was childish.”

Delio Rossi still believes in corporal punishment

“I chose Fiorentina for a quantum leap, both of life and football.”

Cristian Llama asked Ziggy before making the move

“Thanks to Mazzarri I started understanding and studying tactics in football and can only thank him, as he opened up to me a world I had never considered.”

As a player Cristiano Lucarelli just ran in the general direction of the big netty thing

“If there is one Italian side who can do well in the Champions League this term, then it is Juventus.”

Gianluca Vialli was choosing from a group of two, so not the world’s hardest pick

“It might not be nice or even particularly legal, but Inter didn’t hurt anyone other than ourselves.”

Do not hire Marco Materazzi as your legal counsel

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