Friday October 12 2012
Mock the Quotes: Comedy of Mou

Jose Mourinho’s Inter farce, contagious Milan incompetence and Serse Cosmi’s vehicular insults are among Susy Campanale’s favourite quotes of the week.

“I could write a book of 200 pages of my two years at Inter with Mario Balotelli, but the book would not be a drama – it would be a comedy.”

No doubt Jose Mourinho it would be a tale of sparkling wit full of Oscar Wildean bon mots

“Maybe the referees are on as bad form as we are.”

Massimiliano Allegri fears Milan’s incompetence is contagious

“I approached this game with a lot of confidence. I was even confident after we went down to 10 men.”

Massimo Moratti had secretly spied on the Rossoneri’s barn door training session

“Massimo Carrera? I only know the Porsche Carrera.”

Serse Cosmi says both are impeccably waxed and polished

“In general in these situations you put the ball out of play. That happens 99 times out of a hundred in Serie A and we ran into the one time they didn’t.”

Ciro Ferrara can’t be expected to know when the opposition will actually follow the rules!

“The penalty was harsh, as not even Flash Gordon could get out the way.”

Torino Coach Giampiero Ventura did note football would be more fun if Brian Blessed was the referee

“I’ve been told by our lawyers that if I say his performance was technically inadequate then I don’t risk being punished.”

Adriano Galliani meant the referee and not Allegri

“I like Samir Handanovic because he’s not afraid to come off his line and he doesn’t just throw himself around for the sake of it.”

Did Walter Zenga watch the derby?

“I've always said that I just want to play for Italy, even if it meant going in goal!”

Consider Marco Verratti’s height, he’d be better off replacing the corner flag

“Stephan El Shaarawy was being watched by Inter and Juventus, but Milan Vice-President Adriano Galliani, with a lightning strike, signed him.”

Is that what caused the hairstyle, agent Roberto La Florio?

“If Milan need help, then they know where to find me.”

Where they are going to find the money for Zlatan Ibrahimovic is another matter

“Vincenzo Montella has brought peace.”

Manuel Pasqual considers parachuting the Fiorentina Coach into Syria