Friday December 21 2012
Mock the Quotes: Return of Rocky Rossi

Get your boxing gloves out, because Delio Rossi is back! Plus Zdenek Zeman breaks new ground and Atalanta seek legal advice as Susy Campanale sums up the week’s silliest statements.

“I hope this team doesn’t need a slap. In case they do, as you’ve seen, I am capable of providing it.”

New Sampdoria Coach Delio ‘Rocky’ Rossi still has an Adem Ljajic-shaped bruise on his fist

“Zdenek Zeman has opted not to come to the Press conference today. Some things didn’t sit well with him and he didn’t want to stir up controversy.”

There’s a first, Roma director Franco Baldini!

“I’ve got no problem admitting it, as a youngster I supported Milan.”

Giorgio Chiellini was a Diavolo worshipper

“Rodrigo Palacio is excellent in goal – he’ll be an alternative we should keep in mind!”

Andrea Stramaccioni takes his tactical experiments a little too far...

“Some say it’ll be my last game, but others are in the same situation...”

Serse Cosmi went, but dragged Ciro Ferrara down with him

“We didn’t play great football, but it was a useful brand for what we had available.”

Alberto Malesani stands up for mediocrity

“I have always been a leader of men.”

Milan President Silvio Berlusconi hasn’t got a Napoleon Complex – he’s too egotistical. Make it a Berlusconi Complex.

“We compliment Guglielmo Stendardo on his educational achievements in completing his law degree. After all, it’s always useful to have a lawyer in-house!”

Especially nowadays in Serie A, notes Atalanta director general Pierpaolo Marino

“My son is crying for Chelsea. What an achievement we managed in Abu Dhabi… We were able to win without a Coach! I had told you…”

Marco Materazzi wastes no time gloating over Rafa Benitez’s failure to win the Club World Cup with Chelsea

“Sooner or later I will play in the Rossoneri shirt.”

Javier Pastore could mean that as a promise or a threat

“I told him I had given birth. He replied: ‘Ah, ok. I don’t care.’ And he hung up. That was the last time I heard from him.”

Raffaella Fico reveals Mario Balotelli greeted his daughter with the same enthusiasm as scoring in a 5-0 win over Watford

“Lazio have had their ups and downs this season, often based on the form of Miroslav Klose.” 

Apart from the fact the German has played only 102 minutes of Europa League football this season, Borussia Monchengladbach chief Rainer Bonhof has a point

“We hope that justice exists in football. We thought it was a privilege not to be involved, with players or Coaches, in any scandals and having balanced books despite no stars on our shirts. We are proud of our club. The Sardinians evidently have a defect, which is to respect the laws and not just do anything we want.”

That’s Massimo ‘Invite Everyone To A Game Behind Closed Doors’ Cellino, there

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