Saturday May 4 2013
Mock the Quotes: Zanetti pit-stop

Javier Zanetti reveals his secret identity, Vladimir Petkovic proves he’s a newbie and Matija Nastasic misses Florence as Susy Campanale rounds up the week’s oddest statements.

“My career is not over. After such a long time, I needed a tyre change...”

Not only is Javier Zanetti the Bionic Man, he now reveals he’s also a Transformer!

“We’re also sorry because he’s our captain, he has been ever since I was born, and he’s an example to us all.”

Zanetti’s a veteran, Andrea Ranocchia, but he’s not that old!

“I would advise Zanetti to spend these next few months out studying the evidence from the Calciopoli trial rather than trusting what Massimo Moratti tells him. It might not make a difference, as the Argentine is probably forced to act a part so he can take Giacinto Facchetti’s place at the club.”

We would advise Luciano Moggi to study this book: Empathy and Not Acting Like a Total Git

“Don’t make me angry by saying Inter are decimated, as Massimo Moratti hasn’t built a team out of stickers.”

Stickers are harder to tear than an Interista’s thigh muscle, Giuseppe Sannino

“There’s nothing normal about this. I don’t find it normal that they can’t agree on this date when they already knew the game was in Rome and the local elections would also be on May 26.”

Vladimir Petkovic proves he is new to Serie A

“We’ve got to face this game as if we were fighting for our lives, with blood in our eyes.”

Alessio Cerci adds an optician to Torino’s medical staff

“There was an insult, but it was a perfectly ‘normal’ one, the kind you get in football.”

Riccardo Meggiorini assures he wasn’t being racist, he was just being deeply unpleasant

“The only certainty I have about my future is that I have not been contacted by any team interested in hiring me.”

Italy Under-21 Coach Devis Mangia doesn’t have any replies on his internet dating profile either

“Manchester cannot even be compared to Florence in terms of beauty.”

Matija Nastasic is mad fer it! Donatello’s statue of David, that is

“Lazio was a fantastic experience for me.”

The feeling, Djibril Cissè, was not mutual

“I’m going to say the game was fixed, because we could not cross the halfway line without the Ref pulling the game up. I’m talking two matches, so 180 minutes of football, and we had no chance to win.”

Zeljko Kalac’s conspiracy theory would’ve been more believable had Perugia not lost 2-1 on aggregate and the Viola had a player sent off

“Pablo Daniel Osvaldo is an incredibly strong player, even if he is a bit mad in the head.”

Zibi Boniek wonders if that’s why the Roma striker is so good in the air

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Have your say...
Amusing as always. Keep it up!
on the 4th May, 2013 at 1:57pm

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