Sunday September 15 2013
Mock the Quotes: Don't say Trap...

Giovanni Trapattoni knows how the cat feels, Francesco Guidolin finds his niche and Lazio get a prescription as Susy Campanale finds the week’s oddest comments.

“This time I’m the one who ended up in the sack.”

Giovanni Trapattoni’s legendary ‘Don’t say cat unless it’s in the sack’ proverb came back to haunt him in Ireland

“If the fans are belly-aching then they should take a pill or an Alka-Seltzer.”

President Claudio Lotito is now also giving Lazio supporters a case of rage-induced nausea

“I’d like to lead the Nazionale.”

Because if there’s one thing Francesco Guidolin’s Udinese excel at, it’s international competition

“I have tattooed three stars and the two Scudetti won with Juventus because Italy is now in my heart, as is this club.”

Although officially Arturo Vidal’s tattoo is of two stars

“Roma are not a selling club.”

Director Walter Sabatini prefers to call them a transaction-centred outfit

“My future? I can assure you that this issue will not become a soap opera.”

So much for Cesare Prandelli taking over at the Old Vic

“He never takes penalties in training, as he knows we might face him one day and doesn't want to give us any advantages...”

Gigi Buffon reveals the secret to Mario Balotelli’s success is lack of practice, lack of practice, lack of practice

“Juve should not have won that Scudetto, as many people were conditioned by the Bianconeri, who then paid the consequences in Calciopoli and the Scudetto lost in Perugia.”

So Gigi Simoni thinks Juventus paid the price for influencing referees by losing a title on the last day because of referees?

“I had been working on this for 48 months. Basically I’d dreamed of bringing Ricky back from the moment he left!”

Adriano Galliani could’ve saved himself the bother and not sold him in the first place

“We have some extraordinary figures on Kaka’s return, such as shirt sales and social network responses. He spread enthusiasm throughout the Milan universe.”

Galliani says in modern football trending is almost more important than winning

“I hope there is no need to buy or sell in January. My dream is to just sit and watch it unfold because we already know who we will be signing next summer.”

Fiorentina director Daniele Pradè is a voyeur peeking through the transfer window

“I could not stay in Rome with people writing nasty messages outside my house. It’s not normal and nothing gets done about it, to the point where people considered it normal.”

Dani Osvaldo was told they were just tweets that had escaped cyberspace

“The problem with Mario Gomez is that he’s too generous. Against Genoa when we were 3-0 up, I’d never have tried to set up my teammate for a goal...”

Vincenzo Montella didn’t need friends when he had goals

“I was in need of this time to improve and play my best football. Arsene Wenger was not prepared to give it to me. Also my position on the wing was not what I was expecting and I wasn’t happy with it.”

Gervinho also reveals it was the manager who made him miss all those sitters for Arsenal

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