Sunday November 17 2013
Mock the Quotes: Azzurri Dynamo

Italy are magical, Adriano Galliani begins a new career and Alessandro Nesta crowns genius as Susy Campanale rounds up the week’s strangest statements.

“Italy are a smart side, they are artisan illusionists.”

Germany Coach Joachim Löw is impressed with their new striker David Copperfield

“If I stay in football, then it will only be at Milan.”

We wish Adriano Galliani well in his new role as Uncle Fester in The Addams Family: The Musical

“Is my bench wobbling? I can’t sense it, as I always stand on the touchline.”

Giuseppe Sannino definitely felt the Chievo door hit him on his way out

“As Italy Coach there is not just pressure, but an obsession from the fans.”

Cesare Prandelli is the Justin Bieber of the football world

“We need to take better care of the details. I think that’s what will make the difference in matches.”

Alessandro Matri employs a proof-reader, a mathematician and an archaeologist to find the elusive goal

“Zdenek Zeman is a misunderstood genius.”

Like Frankenstein or Dr Jekyll, adds Alessandro Nesta

“For the past 10 years I’ve pulled the rabbit out of the hat, but this year it’s a little more difficult.”

It’s an improvement on his last job, when Delio Rossi used the rabbit to hit Adem Ljajic

“Everyone praises the other teams, but Juventus are always up there. It’s tough – for us and for everyone else.”

So, adds Antonio Conte, haterz gonna hate

“He’s bionic!”

Walter Mazzarri says if Gareth Bale is the €100m man, then Javier Zanetti is the Six Million Dollar Man

“I am in the locker room every morning. I speak to some players, while others might be angry and it’s better to wait for them to calm down.”

Carlo Ancelotti is naming no Ibras, I mean names

“Napoli have a President who is doing a great job, even with a terrible personality, and I say that with affection!”

We’d hate to see what Giovanni Cobolli Gigli says about people he doesn’t like

“This will be a special game for me.”

Francesco ‘massive howler at San Siro’ Bardi got that right

“Am I at risk? I’ve been at risk for 25 years...”

That Francesco Guidolin’s a rebel!

“I spend a couple of hours a day walking, I read many books and enjoy a good cigar.”

Out of work Coach Marco Giampaolo makes being sacked sound rather enjoyable

Keep up to date with the latest news and action from Spain's Primera Division with Football Espana - from the team behind Football Italia.

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