Saturday December 21 2013
They said what?!

Inter reassure Paolo Tagliavento, Vladimir Petkovic benches Kermit and Milan’s transfer strategy is revealed as Susy Campanale has the week’s strangest quotes. 

“Perhaps Paolo Tagliavento is unlucky with us, as we’ve had two defeats all season and both were with Tagliavento making many mistakes. The other loss was against Roma with a non-existent penalty. We’re unlucky with him, it keeps happening to us. Maybe Tagliavento is just out of shape.”

Walter Mazzarri assures the referee it’s not his fault he happens to be incompetent

“I can't figure out if we're just unlucky with Tagliavento or he's unlucky with us. It's a negative situation for both parties – he sees our shirt and he's not able to perform particularly well, and sadly things always go badly for us with him.” 

Esteban Cambiasso suggests a duet of ‘Let’s call the whole thing off’

“I am sorry to have gone off the field and left my team – even though it went well, as we scored afterwards!”

Maybe Massimiliano Allegri has stumbled on to the secret of Milan’s revival...

“It doesn’t matter if you are young, old, experienced or green, you have to respect the group.”

Vladimir Petkovic on why he sent Kermit to the stands

“I do not want to push myself in or impose my presence on the club’s new owners. It would be like selling your house and then continually visiting to sit in the lounge.”

Massimo Moratti just loves what Erick Thohir’s done to the place. That Feng Shui consultant really helped

“We’ve got two top players in Mattia De Sciglio and Alessandro Matri that come from our youth sector. They’ve made it to the top.”

Does it count as an investment when Adriano Galliani sold Matri for €2.3m and paid €11m to get him back?

“I know that I have arrived in a transition period, as none of us would have started in the Grande Milan side.”

Andrea Poli would’ve been happy to polish Frank Rijkaard’s boots

“Failure in what? That we didn’t win the Champions League? If our target for the season was to win the Champions League then it’s a failure.”

Antonio Conte celebrates Juve’s rousing success of first round elimination

“Juve were knocked out of the Champions League by a Turkish team and we can give them the pleasure of being eliminated by a Turkish side again!”

Trabzonspor President Ibrahim Haciosmanoglu offers the opposite of Turkish Delight

“I don’t give him advice, because what you say to Mario goes in one ear and out the other.”

Sulley Muntari says the best advice is not to bother giving Balotelli advice

“This isn't just any team, it's AC Milan. They have an incredible history.”

And, adds Atletico Madrid director Clemente Valverde, a thoroughly average present

“Should the fans applaud or jeer Mazzarri? If I were a fan, I’d just applaud Napoli. I would focus only on helping the team that I support. It will be a difficult game and if a fan goes to the San Paolo, he does it only to cheer on Napoli.”

Rafa Benitez doesn’t know much about Italian ultras, does he? This is the land where children are fined for hurling abuse every time someone takes a goal kick

“I am happy to have created a charity foundation in Colombia, as it’s important to give children an opportunity in life. I am proud to be an idol to children. I also designed a line of clothing in Colombia, mainly to create some jobs.”

Juan Guillermo Cuadrado succeeds in making most other high-earning football players look bad

“I realised they were upset by things I had never said. I haven’t used Twitter in a long time and there are people on other social networks who create false profiles for me.”

Kevin Constant also insists the man in the Milan jersey misplacing all those passes was an impostor

“I care about Udinese too much, so I suffer too much for this team. Perhaps I transmit some of that suffering to the team and they subconsciously absorb it.”

Someone tell Francesco Guidolin that the Friulani don’t literally get thrashed

“I am prepared to go into the town square and kill myself in front of everyone if I should be found guilty of such a crime.”

Gennaro Gattuso suggests the guillotine route

“I would put my hand in the fire for Gattuso. I know him – I would give him my wallet because I know he is a trustworthy person.”

Yet Maurizio Zamparini wouldn’t trust him to Coach Palermo for more than six weeks

“Being the Milan goalkeeper is tough, but I, for example, don’t hear the jeers. Actually, they help me on.”

Christian Abbiati has selective hearing

Keep up to date with the latest news and action from Spain's Primera Division with Football Espana - from the team behind Football Italia.

Have your say...
Here I am again, stuck in this featured column and having an endlessly laugh. You made my day, Susy!
on the 22nd December, 2013 at 4:30am

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