Sunday January 19 2014
They said what?!

Max Allegri makes way for Clarence Seedorf, Gigi Buffon plays Cluedo and Domenico Berardi stays humble in Susy Campanale’s round-up of bizarre quotes.

“It was certainly a professionally gratifying experience, marked also by important successes.”

And a personally horrible experience marked by humiliation for Massimiliano Allegri

“President Silvio Berlusconi had predicted everything two years ago.”

Clarence Seedorf reveals what everyone except Allegri already knew

“Seedorf will become a great Coach because he was a great player.”

Then how does Adriano Galliani explain Edgar Davids failing at Barnet?

“I want to take this opportunity to salute Allegri, who in these two-and-a-half years has proven to be a great opponent for Juventus. I am sorry when a ‘nemesis,’ but one that has always been highly respected as an opponent, in the end has to lay down their arms.”

Antonio Conte forgets Allegri didn’t so much lay down arms as was shot in the back by his own general

“Juve have the same role as the butler in a murder mystery – he always did it!”

Gigi Buffon is a very predictable Cluedo player

“The Coach should be like a good tailor, try to dress their team in the most beautiful dress, the dress that suits them. Maybe sometimes it may not be the most beautiful dress, but it may be what best suits, which in the end brings more guarantees from all points of view.”

Conte confesses his guilty pleasure: Project Runway

“Who is the perfect forward for our style of football? The one who guarantees goals.”

So why did Vincenzo Montella sign Alessandro Matri?!

“Conte is a phenomenon, unique, I have never seen a Coach like him. He is also a bit ‘loco’.”

Coming from Carlos Tevez...

“Inter’s turning point came with Calciopoli, which destroyed Juventus. Inter without that would have continued not to win.”

Gian Piero Gasperini has burned his bridges with the Nerazzurri, moulded the ash into a bridge shape and set fire to it again

“Serie A remains the toughest League in the world. It is the university of football.”

Tevez looks set to end the season with both a Scudetto medal and a diploma

“I’d give my Roma players a Ballon d’Or each, because they are having a great campaign.”

Rudi Garcia meant a football spray-painted gold, obviously

“The passion of the Scousers is similar to the Neapolitans. They talk differently and feel for their football team very intensely. I learned a few words in Neapolitan, which are similar to Spanish, but the accent is difficult! When they talk among themselves even the Italians can’t understand anything!”

The comparisons keep on coming for Rafa Benitez, who learned to just smile and nod when Steven Gerrard spoke

“In Manchester they are certain to have seen how good he is too, or perhaps someone has had vision problems?”

Buffon can be sure someone at United is poking their own eyes out after letting Paul Pogba go

“Over the years I’ve realised there is a strong correlation between revenue and titles.”

Benitez is an expert at stating the obvious

“This is not year zero, this is the last year of a fantastic era. Starting next season we will begin a new era.”

Erick Thohir introduces a new football cliché: Year Minus One

“This has not been a good start to the campaign, but I am convinced we’ll have a great comeback and be back in the top spots within a few weeks.”

Nigel De Jong believes Milan can win every game and also siphon points off all the other teams without them noticing

“I don’t like those who define Antonio Cassano the ‘icing on the cake,’ as he is something solid, important and brings substance to the team.”

Roberto Donadoni insists FantAntonio is more like gluten – helps the cake stand up, but also makes some people sick

“It is obvious that someone who just underwent surgery for a sports hernia ought to have as calm a lifestyle as possible, avoiding excessive physical strain.”

Dr Andrea Campi tells Mauro Icardi to give the bedroom gymnastics a rest for a little while

“Would I work in the Bundesliga? It is a great tournament, but I don’t want to learn another language!”

Plus Carlo Ancelotti isn’t fond of their cuisine

“Would Napoli be even better with another defender and midfielder? If we have 13 players on the pitch, then I expect we will win more games!”

Benitez finally finds the perfect way to stop journalists asking about transfers

“To return to the high levels, I believe that first everyone has to come down from the clouds, return to playing with the ball and not the paparazzi or the other nonsense that is in fashion.”

George Weah analyses football the same way your granddad criticises young people nowadays

“Who has inspired me? Just myself.”

Nice to see Domenico Berardi keeping humble after scoring four against Milan

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Have your say...
I'm really impressed with your writing skills as well as with the layout on your blog. Is this a paid theme or did you customize it yourself? Anyway keep up the excellent quality writing, its rare to see a great blog like this one these days.. eceebekbkfgg
on the 29th May, 2014 at 9:34am
.@least one in prolific
on the 20th January, 2014 at 9:11am
@jimale and susy IN YOUR FACE....Matri got a brace,how about that?!!!
on the 19th January, 2014 at 10:52pm
matri is going to be the one who guarantees goals. Fantastic
on the 19th January, 2014 at 8:46am

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