Saturday April 19 2014
They Said What?!

Mauro Icardi is the Justin Bieber of calcio, Gennaro Gattuso’s leopard print pyjamas and Andrea Pirlo’s autobiography as Susy Campanale finds the week’s weirdest quotes.

“I just hope somebody will sooner or later make him realise all the stupid things he’s done.”

Shkodran Mustafi confirms Mauro Icardi’s status as the Justin Bieber of calcio

“Much is said of Icardi’s personal life, including by himself, but on the pitch he has always shown his worth. He is a player with personality and he showed that with his celebration against Sampdoria.”

Agent Ulisse Savini is right – Icardi showed what a horrible personality he has

“Icardi just needs to focus on football. He has to behave in the most appropriate manner and that is all.”

Bit late for that, Walter Mazzarri

“At that moment the cameras were the last things on my mind. Besides, there are far worse things than those words.”

Andrea Costa didn’t need to elaborate, only wave his hand in the general direction of Icardi

“One year and seven months together! I love you more than the first time we met!”

Considering Wanda Nara only left Maxi Lopez in November, Icardi’s tweet suggests he was an even worse friend than previously thought

“As Napoli went out against Porto, I’d prefer to avoid asking his advice on Portuguese sides! Maybe I have a little more faith in my own collaborators.”

Antonio Conte tells Rafa Benitez where to stick his help in beating Benfica

“My face, with its fixed expression, doesn’t let on what I’m thinking. But therein lies the beauty. I can make up the most crazy stories, say the most ridiculous things to my team- mates and everyone thinks I’m being deadly serious.”

If Andrea Pirlo hangs up his boots, he can start a lucrative new career playing poker

“Gattuso would come in, brush his teeth, stick on his leopard – print pyjamas, get into bed, take out a book and look at the pictures.”

Pirlo’s autobiography suggests Gattuso should be cast as Tarzan

“I tried to escape, but I was already done for. When the guy on your shoulder is Gattuso and he’s out to do you harm, you can run as hard as you like, but he’ll always catch you. You could be a gazelle or a lion – it makes absolutely no difference.”

Pirlo writes the sequel to the Nike gazelle and lion ad

“Even when we’re winning, Conte comes in and hurls against the wall (and thus my little corner) anything he can lay his hands on, almost always full bottles of water. Fizzy water. Very fizzy water.”

The water wasn’t carbonated, added Pirlo, it just erupted by being in the vicinity of Conte’s volcanic rage tremors

“You are not going to be bored with me.”

Massimo Cellino gives Leeds fans the understatement of the century

“I know what Juventus represent in Italy, that there are pro-Juventini and anti-Juventini. It might be sporadic for Roma to feel they are alone against everyone, but for us it’s systematic.”

Conte notes Juve are the Marmite of Italian football

“He’s very young in his mind. With Francesco Totti I talk about the same things as I do with Miralem Pjanic, who is 23.”

Did Mehdi Benatia expect a 37-year-old to discuss only knitting and pension plans?

“So far I have only been included in the Panini stickers, but I hope that I don’t just stay there!”

Yet being a sticker accurately represents the one-dimensional nature of Robinho’s game

“How did we congratulate Romulo on his call-up? We sang him the Italian national anthem in training!”

Andrea Mandorlini thought the Brazilian should at least hear it once before he’s lining up with an Azzurri jersey

“In order to do well, we have to follow in the footsteps of Atletico Madrid and their performance against Barcelona in the Champions League semi-final.”

Livorno Coach Domenico Di Carlo slightly over-estimates the quality of a relegation tussle with Chievo

“Arturo Vidal would happily play with one leg, but you need two to play football.”

Even if Conte knows some players who use their right foot only to stand on

“I hope they give Silvio Berlusconi a youth team to coach!”

Gattuso hopes it’ll distract the President from tinkering with Milan

“I’m having a lot of fun. My enjoyment rubs off on the players, that then rubs on to the fans.”

Rudi Garcia’s Roma career is based on the same principle as a virus

“I hope that Berlusconi is President for another 100 years.”

Adriano Galliani is confident Silvio’s plastic surgeon can get that done

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Have your say...
Icardi is the scum of the Earth. Karma ought to send a broken knee, or two, his way.
on the 19th April, 2014 at 3:32pm

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