Tuesday May 13 2014
They Said What?!

Arrigo Sacchi's key to Milan, Mauro Icardi is the Loki of calcio and Lazio have an unemployment problem in Susy Campanale's quotes of the week.

“If you want to create a rock band but you only have jazz artists at your disposal, it is a difficult task!”

Arrigo Sacchi has the solution to Milan’s problems – more cowbell

“I just do what makes me feel good.”

Mauro Icardi – the Loki of calcio

“Mario Balotelli doesn’t care what people think or say about him. In that sense he is just like me, absolutely identical.”

Maybe Icardi seeing a kinship will finally make Mario realise his image needs improving

“Balotelli is a very talented player, he is among the best in the world... when he can be bothered!”

And Adil Rami adds another dagger to the front

“We will decide together, at a meeting of the board at the end of the season. Clarence has a contract that says he will be with us for the next two years.”

Silvio Berlusconi has in his hand a piece of paper...

“When other teams manage to add the second star, we will add the third to show the difference between us and them.”

President Andrea Agnelli says Juventus are so far ahead they can afford to jog until the others catch up, then humiliate them all over again

“Perhaps Seedorf talks a bit too much, so he needs to gain experience.”

Nigel De Jong feels his old teammate has turned into a backseat driver

“You can tell a professional when there are no more objectives in the table, as he has to play to his best out of respect for the League and all the opponents.”

Roma failed Rudi Garcia’s test in Catania, then

“The problem is that periodically something happens, we all get angry and it becomes news, but then nobody does anything.”

Antonio Conte sums up all the world’s issues in one soundbite

“I want to compliment Juventus on their third consecutive Scudetto, however, I keep hearing people say all three were dominated by the Bianconeri. I’d like to remind people that two years ago Milan were top of the table until April, so it was hardly dominated by Juventus.”

Adriano Galliani clings to a valiant failure two years ago in a desperate bid to make the Rossoneri seem relevant

“Perhaps in Italy they don’t like fairytales. Don’t worry, we will go back to challenging for positions in the table that suit us, that way we won’t irritate people anymore.”

Director Sean Sogliano believes Verona have finally made it to the big time: they have their very own conspiracy theory

“We Italians are like this – we need to touch the bottom, and then we can go up.”

Or, adds Cesare Prandelli, start digging

“Beppe Iachini is a humble man, unlike the majority of Coaches who think they have invented everything themselves.”

Palermo President Maurizio Zamparini is surprisingly humble for one who wields the axe like a Medieval King

“I spoke to Mino Raiola, he mustn’t think about money.”

Pavel Nedved asking the uber-agent not to think about money is like requesting a jolly storyline in Eastenders

“Andrea Pirlo has been a top player for many years now and when you watch him you just want to be like him!”

Paul Pogba joins the growing population of people with a man-crush on the bearded wonder

“There are certain people who on their ID cards have written ‘Profession: Fan.”

Considering the empty seats at Lazio games, Claudio Lotito sees a huge unemployment problem

“I think nine goals is a good tally and I can improve, as I created so many scoring opportunities that I didn’t take.”

It wouldn’t be Gervinho otherwise

“People used to complain we weren’t spectacular enough, but now they say we concede too many goals – they’re never happy!”

Edy Reja discovers the problem commonly known as the Zeman Factor

“How important is Miroslav Klose away from the field? He can make up the rooms, or work as a handyman. He is good with a nail and hammer, should he be required.”

Joachim Löw knows nothing says team spirit like a nice set of shelves

“UEFA have just clearly said that PSG have won without abiding by Financial Fair Play. Therefore, we are the rightful champions, having respected the rules imposed at the start of the season.”

Between Monaco and his time at Inter, Claudio Ranieri is amassing a large collection of imaginary trophies

“It’s always nice to score, though at San Siro I still haven’t. But sooner or later it will come because I am looking for it. And when you look for things, you find them!”

Hernanes has clearly never had to find his keys

Have your say...
Excellent, as usual :) I love Susy's wit, although I wouldn't want to be on the end of it!
on the 15th May, 2014 at 9:41am
AC need to turn up, tune in and drop out. They have managed to drop out but the tuning in and turning up is a real sticky one for them!

'His contract says' The Seedorf Affair will be no problem at all for Silvio. He will just erase the ink - remove the signature - deny everthing in a court of law stating Clarence is just another communist out to get him.
Thank the lord Zamparini is back - the pink circus returns, (4 is the magic number next year for Zamp - 4 sacked managers that is)
on the 14th May, 2014 at 8:37am

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