Friday November 25 2011
Mock the Quotes: "Just the hair..."

“People didn’t know what they were talking about when they said Milos Krasic was like Pavel Nedved. They just have the same hair…”

Luciano Moggi is frankly glad Juve didn’t try to sign Robbie Savage

“Can we sit down round a table for peace talks? As long as there aren’t any knives under the table. We’ll stand up to see what happens.”

Massimo Moratti considers asking UN weapons inspectors to join the post-Calciopoli discussion, just in case

“Will Zlatan Ibrahimovic be anxious about facing Barcelona? We’ll give him some valium.”

Massimiliano Allegri rushes to Ibra’s Little Helper

“Josep Guardiola? It’s nothing personal.”

Ibrahimovic’s autobiography described an acrimonious split that was the very definition of personal

“I’ve been here for five seasons and now feel a little bit Neapolitan, especially at the dinner table.”

Marek Hamsik was trying to compliment the locals, but in fact made them sound a bit like pigs

“It’s clear that it is hard on the bench because fire still burns inside of me.”

Someone give Alessandro Del Piero some Preparation H

“I’m not a doctor, a pharmacist or a miracle worker. God took seven days to make the world.”

Delio Rossi fears if Fiorentina keep losing, he’ll be crucified

"Yes, I gave everyone a kiss in the dressing room. It doesn't happen often, but this time I felt like doing it and I did it."

Walter Mazzarri comes out of the locker room closet

“Tevez would be perfect to substitute Cassano. I get the impression that he could create some problems if he is left on the bench though.”

Whatever gives Billy Costacurta that idea?

“When Leo Messi approaches you, you have to make the sign of the cross and pray that everything will be alright.”

Thiago Silva considers an exorcist to deal with the Barcelona star

“I went to sit on the wrong bench, as usually I tended to be on the other one at the Stadio Franchi.”

Rossi needs reminding he’s the home Coach now

“At this point, maybe we ought to go into psychoanalysis to cure these problems we’ve got away from home.”

Devis Mangia thinks Palermo’s one point from six games is a diagnosis of travel sickness. Maybe some anti-histamines or a homeopathic bracelet?

“I have confidence Andrea Caracciolo will wake up.”

Alberto Malesani cast his lanky striker in the annual Genoa panto Sleeping Beauty

“Will I reassure fans on my future? But the heart is made to palpitate...”

Antonio Cassano regrets hiring Daniele De Rossi as his cardiologist

“I believe Inter can win the Scudetto. It would be an incredible achievement, but this is a very strange championship.”

Strange, Claudio Ranieri, but not supernatural

“As it stands, I’ve not been informed that Vincenzo Iaquinta is on the transfer list for January.”

That’s probably because Juve have forgotten Iaquinta is still there, agent Andrea D’Amico

“I play as Inter on the Playstation. Obviously I’m in the first team.”

It’s about the only place Philippe Coutinho will get a start

“Football is illogical and not an exact science.”

Mazzarri is from the Vulcan school of soccer

“We always have to die a little in the final five minutes of every game. That’s our destiny.”

Moratti also uses it to sing ‘Every time we say goodbye’

“The referee was neutral for the last three minutes...”

Cagliari’s Radja Nainggolan explains that’s when Inter die a lot

“Every now and then Matri gives me a nasty look and tells me to stop!”

Claudio Marchisio discovers strikers don’t like being surpassed in the Capocannoniere charts by midfielders

“If we sometimes struggle it is because we are actually playing against a good team and because we are not Real Madrid.”

Alberto Malesani insists Genoa aren’t the Cut-Price Galacticos

“Why did he snub a move to Marseille? Because they were offering him less than half of what he earns today. Amauri has become a prisoner of his own contract.”

It’s hard to feel sympathy, agent Ernesto Bronzetti

“I hope that they have regrets about me in Argentina because, apart from Lionel Messi, I can challenge anyone on the field of play.”

Pablo Daniel Osvaldo: No and No

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